Preparing for a first date can be quite nerve-wracking, even for the
most mature of individuals. The key is to take it easy and decide that
you are going to have a good time no matter what happens. Although
first impressions are important, it helps to take some of the pressure
off yourself "to perform" and decide that you are just going to be
yourself. If you decide you are going to have a good time, then you
probably will. However, there are some steps you can take to put
yourself at ease before that all-important first date that can help
make it a better experience for both of you.
First of all, make sure the date will be something you will enjoy.
If your date suggests going sailing but you can's swim and suffer from
seasickness, don't be afraid suggest an alternative. Suggest that the
two of you check out the latest art exhibition or that new scary movie
that just opened. Try to choose something that is fun and exciting for
both you. This will definitely take the pressure off you to entertain
or amuse your partner with conversation.
This is not the time to suggest a highly unusual excursion, such as
bungee jumping or to try and unfamiliar food. You don't want to have to
abandon your date because of gastric distress!
Dating experts suggest that women should not dress too sexy on for a
first date. Avoid exposing too much cleavage or fishnet stockings
unless you are sure you want to have sex on the first date
Men should try to avoid looking too casual in that "I shop at
Wal-Mart way" way. Sweats or T-shirts and jeans are also a no-no. Dress
casually, but smart but also be you. During the date men should also
mind their manners at the table and make sure that they arrive on time
to pick up their date.
Conversely, women should not keep men waiting while they are getting
ready. Sometimes it helps to have a cocktail before you leave the
woman's house to break the ice a little. It is important to patient, as
sometimes the other person is as nervous as you are and doesn't
necessarily express anything but awkwardness or anxiety for the first
few minutes.
During the rest of the evening, the woman should not scorn or reject
the man's attempts to open doors for her and pull out her chair for
her. He is trying to be sweet, not set back feminism twenty years!
Men are also advised to bring flowers, a plant or a gift as a kind
of advance thank you for the date. I know it is a cliche but you can't
go wrong giving a woman a bouquet of roses, tulips or sunflowers.
While on the date, try and keep the conversation going as best as
you can. The best way to do this is ask your blind date polite
questions such as "So how was your day?" and "Did you see that
television show the other night...?" Although you are very curious
about your date, it is best to save the heavy interrogation, such as
"Why are you still looking for a job at age 43?" for the third or
fourth date.
Make sure you check your emotional baggage at the door. This is not
the time to discuss your cheating ex-boyfriend, your alcoholic mother,
or your psychotic boss. Your date is supposed to be a potential lover,
not a therapist. If they identify you with unpleasant qualities, such
as control, clinginess, complacency or even too much emotional
security, the relationship is not likely to last.
Keep your sense of humor and keep your wits about you. If something
seems awkward or goes awry during the date, such as spilling wine on a
favorite dress, then encourage your date to laugh along with you at the
persistence of Murphy's law.
According to relationship experts, the best way to keep your date
attracted to you is to always have them identify you with the idea of
excitement. Don't be afraid to show a little spontaneity by suggesting
that you take a walk in the park or explore a new attraction after your
date. In fact, evolutionary biologists tell us that taking a partner to
a scary movie or on a thrilling amusement ride can rev up one's sex
life, as the same chemicals in our brain that are responsible for
creating fear also create sexual desire.
There are also some physical moves that you can make to show that
you are interested in the opposite sex. These include turning your body
so that it faces your partner and casual physical contact such as
holding hands or patting your partner on the arm. Women love it when
men place their hand on the small of their back as it makes them feel
guided, protected and secure with him. Perhaps one of the best ways to
make a deep, lasting soul-connection is to lock both of your gazes and
not say a word for a minute or two.
Unless your date is drunk and displaying inappropriate behavior try
to be a good sport and stay by his side until he drops you off at the
door. At the end of the night, most dates end with a kiss. While
kissing your date good-bye avoid the reassuring pat on the back. A lack
of a kiss may indicate that there is not a sexual relationship in the
future. If this happens don't expect a call for a second date and be
content in knowing that you have just made yourself another very good
friend!